jewels and good endings

i gave you a lot of ways out
a lot of caution tape and doors
and it’s like you not to go
and it’s king arthur to me, you’re not a leaver
(or a roadkill, or a beaver)
and really, there’s only one person
i’m afraid to abandon, and it’s not you
because i’m not afraid of missing any of you
just her

but it’s me
and i can’t cry out the truth in eye colors because
i don’t cry much and there’s no such color
and perhaps no such truth, not anymore
it’s the first lines that sound wrong to me
and i was always better at leaving
at the right time, and ending
on a sweet note, like everything i wrote
about false battle and devotion "hard to begin
and easy to end"
and "fields of gold" and imaginary friends